Guinness Reviews

I see some person already leaved some review about that matter anyway. Do you really see any point in that ? This company is for sure just great and do make very good beer. Want to prove it ? Just taste them and that's it really. No matter how hard.

It was the first Paddy’s day of the new Millennium when my lips first made contact with an iron packed pint of Lepricorn blood. Myself and Bri had recently been binge watching Father Ted and decided the time had come to fly to clover land in search of Dougle the dashing dream boat when we found ourselves in Dublin, the city of dreams, if those dreams are to drink Guinness until you feel as strong as a Viking and as horny as my first husband after 2 shots of absinthe and a marmite sandwich. After a few swift one’s at Paddy’s wine bar we headed to Paddy’s cocktail bar where we found our Dougle! There he was, stood in the corner of the room singing girls just want to have fun while trying to shove grapes into the fruit machine. He was a dashing fool with a passion for pencils while we were two beautifully crafted girls who most certainly wanted to have fun.

We approached Our Dougie, stroked his hair, pressed ourselves against him and suggested a threesome, to which he replied “That sounds great ladies. What fruit did you bring?” Aware that he didn’t understand our advances Bri took his hand and placed it on her left breast “We bought melons. Do you want a taste?” He said yes still innocently unaware what was happening so we took him by the hand to the disabled toilet and had our way with him until his paddy blew and Irish cream filled the room from floor to ceiling. Looking back with hindsight I’m now aware that the man we harassed wasn’t the dashing Dougle dream boat but instead any drunk Irish man which could have also been any Irish man. After our rather bizarre fumble in the toilet we headed to St James’s gate for a few black velvets and an old fashioned sing song:

“His blood is black and height is short
That Irish man from the county Cork
His arms are strong and his legs are hollow
That Irish man who you’ll love to swallow
His lips are sweet and taste of clover
That Irish man he’ll bend you over
His shaft is long and made of Guinness
That Irish man with the Iron penis”